I jumped on here today to start working and Eric Clapton’s Running On Faith was playing in the background. It seems like a perfect song for me right now, as I am flat out running on faith.
At certain times in our life we get overcome with a feeling of desperation, that we simply cannot give any more than we currently are. It’s such a difficult and painful situation to be in, knowing you are giving all you can but in the end forces outside your control will determine your outcome. At this moment all we can do is commit to placing one foot in front of the other, keeping at it and letting faith do the rest.
I was telling a friend yesterday how scary it is to know your future (and others) rides on saying the right thing, to the right person, with the right kind of conviction and emotion, all at the right time. Knowing that if I talk to the right person – someone who can put money to work in our company and thus we will stay alive and continue to change the world – is definitely exhilarating. But at the same time, understanding that for whatever reason I can’t reach the right person at the right time and the company dies, is equally frightening.
It’s hard to even begin to describe what it’s like to give up everything, take the leap, start a company from scratch and grow it into a sustainable enterprise. The stress is so damn high…. it’s so heavy you actually get used to it. In a different conversation with another friend, I spoke about how to manage stress in a situation like this. You literally get comfortable with being uncomfortable and become desensitized to things going on in your life. You simply have to or you will literally go crazy. You emerge with the feeling akin to how you might say the word “whatever” when something crazy happens in your life. Look at it for a few seconds, shrug a shoulder and keep going.
Because of this I have probably become a worse friend, son, brother, boyfriend (if I had a girlfriend) but that is where I find myself right now. Although those are going in the wrong direction, I am becoming a world class entrepreneur. Each day I feel myself getting better at this game, learning more of the nuances of founding a business only experience can teach you. I am choosing to only focus on things that will move my life forward. I am learning how to make in the world, not just take from the world. It might not look like it from the outside or in the bank account but believe me, it’s happening.
For context, a good read for any leader is Crucibles of Leadership, a great book detailing how any great leader is made through tough times, not easy times. It is because of this book I am clinging to my faith and enduring through this crucible to come out the other side a better leader and person.
There is simply no way around the dichotomy of all these wide ranging emotions, entrepreneurs have to run on faith. There are times in your life you will have nothing more.